Monthly Archives: January 2014

The North Pole, Amongst Other Things

Rich is awake, and so am I, though our motives for being awake are clearly different. He spends his time working on a campaign for Coco Channel. I spend it studying the difference between the two north poles, magnetic and geographical. From what I’ve come to learn, reaching the North Pole was a wildly political endeavor historically, and one that involved sabotaging the careers of fellow explorers in the name of personal glory. I also learned that the position of the magnetic north pole is moving faster and faster, from a rate of 9 km per year in the 70s to 30 something as of 2014. In fact, the magnetic north pole is about to leave Canada, on a march towards Siberia. The Russians are probably pleased about this.

In 2007, Russia planted a flag on the seabed of the Arctic Ocean, presumably at what we would accept to be the geographical North Pole. At the time, I remember thinking how weird that was, but after watching a documentary that included the notion of the race to put an American flag on the sea ice that floated above the pole, I’m less sure. After all, we didn’t think twice about jamming a flag into the moon. I wonder if America might someday claim the moon as ours, purely based on that flag? Talk about a sphere of influence, sterile or otherwise.

From what I’ve been able to ascertain, there is little proof that Santa Claus actually lives in the North Pole. This hasn’t dissuaded the Canadian government from making the zip code of the pole (which they assume to run) from H0H 0H0, a clever pun on the whole “ho ho ho” phrase. Here in America, we’re busy debating on if Santa was white, which apparently he was, even if he was Turkish. Are Turkish people white? Perhaps. Either way, very few if any Turkish people currently maintain residence in the North Pole, making the concept of a white-Turkish-Santa residing in the H0H 0H0 zip code problematic. I seem to be in the minority of people caring about this.

Islam, or rather, Sufism has a strong tie to the North Pole. Apparently a northern mountain, more north than north, involves some vague pilgrimage towards enlightenment that may or may not remind me of Dante’s provocative vision of Hell. But I don’t know about that.

Rich knows someone who either turned down an opportunity to do computer coding in Antarctica, or perhaps knew better than to accept such a job opportunity. I know nothing about that either. I know Werner Herzog did a documentary there, and one that was far more boring that Grizzly Man. I remember watching Grizzly Man while I was living with Rory in San Francisco and working as a traveling whipped cream salesmen. I remember a lot of things.

Rich wants to know what I’m working on. I tell Rich. Rich doesn’t respond. He’s busy writing about emerging trends and ecommerce. Earlier I showed him video of a homeless guy getting bludgeoned to death at a Fullerton transit center. Kelly Thomas. I wonder what he knew about? Perhaps he knew all about aurora borealis and why blue and ultraviolet are the rarest version? Did he know it had to do with the excitement of certain atoms in relation to solar wind? I’ll probably never know. At this point, it’s par for the course.